Lately, I have been giving more thoughts to a life time commitment to someone, yes marriage. And honestly, its a damn scary thought. I mean, I would want to be with someone exclusively but am not sure at all if marrying him would be for the rest of the lifetime. Anyone who thinks that a marriage is just between a man and a woman is seriously deluded. When you marry him or her, you are marrying the family as well and whether good or bad, its for life.
And having to spend 24/7 with the other half constantly is lovely but daunting at the same time. Sure, we will have our own space but you can't disregard the family. Its like, OK, so it was a bad day at work but guess what, its the weekly dinner at the in-laws and like it or not, you got to show and maintain a semblance of civility. I guess I may not be ready for that kind of familial responsibility yet. And certainly would be even more freaked out if I HAD to live with the in-laws. So, that means, I cannot even fight with the son because the parents would obviously side with him. And the inconveniences, and having to adapt to the entire family's living habits!?! Good grief.
I look at friends who are married and its like talk with them revolve around property, mortgages, kids, family, education, etc. OMG, I feel so suffocated and bored to death. And the same friends look at me with the "been there done that" face and tell me "don't get married. trust me, you lose all freedom." Thanks for the reassurances which put me even off marriage.
But I AM friggin weak, I know I would in all probability say yes if a man loves me enough to get down on his knee to propose. Like, this man would be willing to endure my moments, love and cherish me in good and bad times, and be my pillar when the sky threatens to drop on me. I mean I would be MAD to say NO to that amount of love for the rest of the lifetime.
And I would be so crazily as to agree to having kids with him because I love him and I cannot disappoint him and in the process, bow down to the family pressure of continuing the blood line. I love kids, but I am not sure if I can be a good mummy or even to raise the kids well. I just don't have the patience or ability. Though I have been told, when I become a mummy, its different and I will know what to do.
SIGH, I must be the oldest teenager around who still cannot reconcile to the idea of marriage and kids. And I must be crazy to even think about marriage and kids these days. I really think age is getting to me. Either that or I am afraid to be asked or made to commit for the life time. OH well, whatever will be, will be!
And having to spend 24/7 with the other half constantly is lovely but daunting at the same time. Sure, we will have our own space but you can't disregard the family. Its like, OK, so it was a bad day at work but guess what, its the weekly dinner at the in-laws and like it or not, you got to show and maintain a semblance of civility. I guess I may not be ready for that kind of familial responsibility yet. And certainly would be even more freaked out if I HAD to live with the in-laws. So, that means, I cannot even fight with the son because the parents would obviously side with him. And the inconveniences, and having to adapt to the entire family's living habits!?! Good grief.
I look at friends who are married and its like talk with them revolve around property, mortgages, kids, family, education, etc. OMG, I feel so suffocated and bored to death. And the same friends look at me with the "been there done that" face and tell me "don't get married. trust me, you lose all freedom." Thanks for the reassurances which put me even off marriage.
But I AM friggin weak, I know I would in all probability say yes if a man loves me enough to get down on his knee to propose. Like, this man would be willing to endure my moments, love and cherish me in good and bad times, and be my pillar when the sky threatens to drop on me. I mean I would be MAD to say NO to that amount of love for the rest of the lifetime.
And I would be so crazily as to agree to having kids with him because I love him and I cannot disappoint him and in the process, bow down to the family pressure of continuing the blood line. I love kids, but I am not sure if I can be a good mummy or even to raise the kids well. I just don't have the patience or ability. Though I have been told, when I become a mummy, its different and I will know what to do.
SIGH, I must be the oldest teenager around who still cannot reconcile to the idea of marriage and kids. And I must be crazy to even think about marriage and kids these days. I really think age is getting to me. Either that or I am afraid to be asked or made to commit for the life time. OH well, whatever will be, will be!
No comments:
Post a Comment