the aftermath I

And so the air was heavy with anxious anticipation on Friday morning. Everyone was working without really working. Even my dear boss was prepared to be out of the door before lunch, she procrastinated over the work, so did I. We didn't see the point of getting any work done, since we could be shown the door in the morning. It was with huge relief that we saw ourselves surviving the cut but terribly awful to see familiar faces leaving the office. And so it was true, only the toughest and ruthless survived. I wouldn't call myself either but rather I would think that it was out of necessity that my boss and myself were kept still. They simply needed us to help them integrate and after that, its anyone's guess. Though, we wouldn't be too complacent and believe that we are immune to it all.

Somehow, through the saga, everyone became more humane and maybe because we were all in this together, everyone seemed more closely knit than before. Even the bitch whom everyone hated had a kind word and smile. It would be sad to see someone go again but that is how the vicious cycle repeats itself.

And I did the irrational, I actually bought the Kate Spade Mulberry Street Noel Opus bag in navy blue. Either way, it was to celebrate the end of my time with that place or to celebrate my continuing term with that place. Yes, its damn friggin gorgeous and SW has the same in yellow. That is a choice so very her.

Of course, that set me thinking about my visit to Baby. I really wanted to see him in June but given how things are, it was neither practical nor sensitive to be away on holidays. I spent sleepless nights agonising over it until I finally told Wendy about it. She gave me the best advice ever "...if he can't understand, how to go through thick and thin with you next time". And so, at last, I brought myself to tell him and in all honesty, I didn't think it surprised him too much since he knew how stressed out I was over the whole thing. It felt like an additional load of stress was taken off my shoulders when he told me "...no worries at all gorgeous, it seems like the responsible thing to do :) xx" and yet again reassured me that it was okay.

It also touched me that he was now wanting to discuss with me about us and not bulldoze through in his way with scant consideration for me and how I felt. I really didn't want to force myself to go through the motions and throw irrational mood swings his way if the visit had materialised in any case. Am so relieved he understood and respected my decision.

And so, today, I was breathing easier after I woke up and despite the heartache, am a happier person. At least, for the weekend until new battles are fought next week onwards.