Am in a completely f87king bad mood and I have every reason to be, besides been up still at 4am. I really hate sleep interrupted and not when I have a full day ahead tomorrow and there is the desire to hit the gym. Its demoralising to go to work and see everybody grim faced and stressed out. True, its really the case of whatever will be, will be and its difficult to be motivated when you don't know what is happening anymore. And to any idiot who think I am being f87king difficult or emo, I say f87k off and f87k off with your hoity toity attitude. I like to see you get so f87king screwed and tell me its nothing, no sweat and you don't give a shite.
And yes, its driving us a bit crazy now that I may not be able to make it out to see him and his dates may actually clash with my travel dates. Sometimes, I feel a helpless sense of anger and resignation at the distance, like he can't just drive away to keep me company but likewise, he wished I could pop by during the evenings at his place and spend my weekends with him. I know Baby is trying not to drive me to the point of exploding, especially since he was finally told of what may happen, but its definitely exasperating when its getting miserably awful to be apart so much. Sigh, I feel his concern about moi and whether I am coping, but like I told him... "I am a survivor". I don't know if it brought comfort to him since he understood the internal turmoil I was going through and may be afraid that I would collapse again.... but, I think I will survive yet another thunderstorm.
Keeping faith still am I, and maybe this is yet another test of my faith in Him despite the humanely fears. And, of course, there is the regret that the two of us should have not procrastinated back then but maybe we are making up for lost time now.
And yes, its driving us a bit crazy now that I may not be able to make it out to see him and his dates may actually clash with my travel dates. Sometimes, I feel a helpless sense of anger and resignation at the distance, like he can't just drive away to keep me company but likewise, he wished I could pop by during the evenings at his place and spend my weekends with him. I know Baby is trying not to drive me to the point of exploding, especially since he was finally told of what may happen, but its definitely exasperating when its getting miserably awful to be apart so much. Sigh, I feel his concern about moi and whether I am coping, but like I told him... "I am a survivor". I don't know if it brought comfort to him since he understood the internal turmoil I was going through and may be afraid that I would collapse again.... but, I think I will survive yet another thunderstorm.
Keeping faith still am I, and maybe this is yet another test of my faith in Him despite the humanely fears. And, of course, there is the regret that the two of us should have not procrastinated back then but maybe we are making up for lost time now.
No comments:
Post a Comment