I never had a problem controlling how much alcohol I consumed. Very seldom, would I allow myself to get drunk. Its scarily frightful how I allowed myself to lose control over the past few months and the increasing reliance on the bottle. Simply put, I lost it and as much regretful as I feel the next day when I wake up, I don't stop. I keep losing control.... some days are bearable, some days are nightmarish.
I can't deal with the stress, am literally going crazy from the stress. There is just too much on my mind and to be placed at the crossroads yet again is punishing on the emotions. I don't even want to talk about myself anymore, why should I further subject myself to those subliminal, superficial and sarcastic remarks/advice. Sure, this is my fall from grace. My retribution for being that overly confident, bitchy and snobbish banker. But let me tell you this, I don't have a choice, am forced by circumstances to adapt and play the part of what was and still is expected.
Am not an idiot, but am slowly turning into one. I don't deserve this, I really don't.
I can't deal with the stress, am literally going crazy from the stress. There is just too much on my mind and to be placed at the crossroads yet again is punishing on the emotions. I don't even want to talk about myself anymore, why should I further subject myself to those subliminal, superficial and sarcastic remarks/advice. Sure, this is my fall from grace. My retribution for being that overly confident, bitchy and snobbish banker. But let me tell you this, I don't have a choice, am forced by circumstances to adapt and play the part of what was and still is expected.
Am not an idiot, but am slowly turning into one. I don't deserve this, I really don't.
2 comments:
ok, you have to slow down now~~~
yeah, i do, before its too late...
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